On a day like this, ranting on my blog becomes a necessity.

School officially commences tomorrow, even though I don't have classes till Tuesday. Nevertheless, the prospect of going back to NTU eats me up inside out. After a semester of (near?)hard work, I got back sucky results, the worst being the one I studied the most. Am I stupid or am I dumb? This sucks man. I've never dreaded going back to school so much. Even if my results in jc were always like shit, I knew that as long as I did well eventually, all else didn't matter and nobody would say anything bad to me. But in uni, the situation's not re-enacted. Every semester is like preparing for 'A' levels. I wished somebody had told me right at the beginning. Whoever said that uni would be a breeze once you could pass jc ought to be shot. I want to believe that I can do well, I can do well like everybody does, but somehow I don't seem to be performing as well. I want to believe that I'm meant to do something, that something big is waiting for me, but somehow the more I move forward, the more my future seems bleek.

I know this may become a viscious cycle for me, or even a self-fulfilling prophecy, but all I want is to rattle and ramble on.

♥ 10:25 PM